This past weekend I travelled to Abuja for my uncle’s wedding. My girlfriend Chanu and I decided to visit her cousin and I had the rare priviledge of meeting this fantastic couple. This couple have a lovely daughter Kayla which I spent a huge chunk of my time with playing with. I couldn’t but help learn some valuable lessons about marriage from the couple themselves.
Every now and then I get, both solicited and unsolicited, relationship advice that seems to really resonate with me. I think I can write a whole book on relationship advice I have received so far; from people who think I should be married by now and those who opined that I am way ‘too young’ to get myself entangled in marriage yet.
This couple offered no advice. They simply lived the principles for me to learn from. I later wrote to Chanu that evening and said, “this couple are not just happy, they have a deep seated joy.”
1. Communication is not only what you say or do, it is also what you think towards your partner.
I couldnt help but notice that they have only the best thoughts towards themselves. It was so evident. I am so sure they wouldnt have to worry about thermostat settings, husband’s dirty socks, toothpaste caps and those little habits that drive couples crazy. They are just nice to themselves not nitpicky.
2. Be supportive
The way the man helped with baby Kayla amazed me. I was just smiling all along.
3. Be yourself
It was simply warm to see them behave so loving and so natural at it even before their guests. It transcends that moment neither is it once-in-a-long-while thingy. You could see this is a thing that exist even when the guests are long gone.
4. Its all about Friendship and Respect
Obviously no marriage can work without friendship. For this couple the word “friendship” conjures up thoughts of honesty, vulnerability, companionship, and mutual respect.
Sincerely, I intend to ask them how they were able to do it and I am going to blog about it.